Double Wammy

Why not put up two posts in the same night, after not posting for two months? It's still Alexis, and I think I'm the only one who likes updating this thing.
So like I just said in the last post, I've decided I'm going to write a book. At school at the end of the year, I've decided to join the amatuer authors club, after basketball died down and I realized I had time to do things after school. By join I mean I show up once in a while, and since I kept coming everyone decided I was a member. I don't know if it counts, because apparently everytime I've been there things have gotten out of control and not much gets done...not my fault! ...Not entirely! ANYWAYS. There is this page on facebook the club has that puts up writing prompts, and I saw one prompt and used it for my book. Here it goes:

Writing Prompt #3: You receive word that someone very close to you has passed away (how and when it happened is up to you). Write them a letter.

I'm going to write a letter from the perspective of the main character in a book I have started to write--THIS IS MY FIRST ONE I HOPE I CAN FINISH IT. Here it goes:

Dear (don't have a name yet...any suggestions? Character type, very sweet but teasing little brother.GO.),

You are the single sweetest little brother I could have ever had, and ever have not appreciated. I realize now how many acts of kindness went unnoticed by me, and I want so very badly to apologize to you, now that it's too late. I wish I could turn time back to that eventful day, when I let it all happen. To go back to that day, when I couldn't overcome my own fear save your life. I still wake up in the middle of the night, screaming for Mom and Dad to help instead of jumping in and rescuing you myself. You have no idea how many times I've re-invented(sp?) that moment in my head, changed it in my mind so that I rescued you and you are still here with me today, nagging me in the mornings to get out of the shower like you used to...to have you to chase the neighbors' cat with, to walk around the corner and see who can find the most absurd looking stranger. But most of all, I miss telling you things: being able to tell you all about my first date, all about high school graduation and how I tripped in front of everyone; that's something I know we would have laughed about for months. I miss telling you how proud I was to ace the test I worked so hard for, and everything else I've ever been proud to accomplish.

What really hurts is when people find out I have a brother who drowned and they say they're sorry. What do they have to be sorry for? They aren't the ones who have to deal with it every day of their life! They don't have to watch as other kids around them have a good time in a normal family where you know everyone will come home at night. They don't understand the reality of having a brother one day, and then having him whisked away the next. I don't want their sympathy--I just want you back. It only brings back fresh pain to hear them say anything about you. It's not as bad now as it was that first year after it happened, but that makes it even worse. I wonder why I don't feel as deeply in pain, and I wonder if I'm starting not to care, to forget you. That's the thought that really scares me the most--I'd prefer the pain over that! Anything but forgetting you. Anything but knowing that the life I once had, being part of a whole and complete family, is gone. The scars never heal totally, and I never forget the little brother who isn't around any more. I have to deal with the fact that you won't be there for the major things in my life--such as marriage, college graduation...everything.

The other worse part (it's all the worst part it seems...ultimately all these "worst part"s roll together to make one huge worst part) is that I could have stopped it from happening. I saw you there, in the water and I didn't help you. I didn't act on an impulse to do the right thing--my first impulse was utter terror, to scream and scream and not do anything. I couldn't have moved my feet if I wanted to--which I did, so very badly. I wanted to do something but my mind froze, and I didn't know what that something was. That is what I really want to apologize to you for the most.

Wherever you are, I hope you can hear me. I hope you know just how much I still miss you and still love you, and still think about you. Most of all, how much I still consider you a part of the family. You hear people say "This girl had a brother, but he passed away a few years ago." That doesn't change anything! I still have a little brother! They can't erase you! I hope you know that. Wherever you are, I hope it's nice there and that you are far away from the pain and sorrow I feel. I hope you can think of something other than how much I want you back, even if this place is a hell hole compared to where you are. Sorry for being so selfish in wanting you all for myself...do you miss me too? Or do you just hate me for that moment--that horrific, endless moment--when I failed you?

Love,
Your Confused Sister.(Name for her needed as well! I'm still thinking about them...I'm not giving up and asking in desparation! Promise!)

Any help that can be offered, mostly criticism, I reeeaaally like getting. Attack it please! It probably won't make it into the book, I'm just working on the feeling I want for my character.

Long Time No Write!

So, guess how long it's been since we've posted on this blog!
Around TWO MONTHS! 68 days, to be exact. If you want to be REALLY technical, its been two months and 7 days. I think that sounds right.

So what do I have to say? Eh. Not much.

Right now, the happenings in this Savage household are:

• Josh leaves for the MTC on Wednesday in Provo, for 3 weeks before he heads to the MTC in PERU, and then out in the mission field!


• Mom cries and cries and cries and cries when he leaves.


• Mom cries some more.


• Dani is still working at the Heber Creeper, not her favorite job, but it's what she can do right now. She has just finished up intramural flag football, and won a championship shirt for intramural ultime frisbee!


• There is 60 days until she ships out fro the Argentina MTC for her Uruguay Montevideo mission! Woo hoo!


• Mom will cry when she leaves too.


• Kyle got his elk tag not long ago, and he plans to use our Uncle Todd and cousins, and he's also still enjoying TaeKwonDo.


• Kyle is ALSO styling the look of a blue mustache. Wonder why.


• I (In case you haven't found out by process of elimination yet, this is Alexis) am doing the school play right now, Beauty and the Beast, and am having fun with that although it is slow going right now. It kicks into high gear when school starts.


• I'm theoretically "recovering from a mild concussion." Pssh. Cute story.


• I have also decided I am going to write a book! Don't ask how far that's coming along, but it's going to happen! I have one scene written down, and that's it! ...great.


• The whole family--minus Josh, that whole mission thing--is going to drive to New Hampshire!


• We are having a LOT of family in and out, seeing them and having them see us.


• PART of that family visiting in and out, is our Uncle David, with his daughters, Rainy and Mimi, stopping with us on their way to Yellowstone where they will be for a week. It's awesome seeing them, for the first time in a bunch of peoples' memories, and in ten years for mom who remembers them all!


• We got a car that went bad not half out of the dealership. Promising, right? But it is in the shop right now and should be ours again tomorrow.


• Grandpa is doing well after surgery for his back, looking better every day we see him.


• Grandma Tuck has been in the hospital for lime disease, but she is out now. The one requirement and GREATEST CHALLENGE is for her to rest and not do much. Well folks, we'll so how long that lasts!


• Jarah is OLD, but funny. And loving. And attention hogging. And we love her A LOT. She is sharing the house (her domain) with Uncle David's dog Mercedes--for the attention hog she is, don't know how much she likes that.


• Thursday (August 4th) is the mile marker of a year since Dad has passed away. That's been rough...it's also the day after Josh leaves for the MTC. This is an emotionally packed week.

Hmm...that's the update on the crazy Savages.